Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Taylor Swift Owns Her Masters Now – But Her Greatest ‘Taylor’s Version’ Song Ensures the Legacy of Her Re-Recordings - Billboard

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

It’s here now, writing to you.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Walmart Nintendo Switch 2 pre-order: some US customers can buy it again - The Shortcut | Matt Swider

It’s still here.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Republicans, why do you support Kamala Harris over Donald Trump?

I was tired of fighting.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

A kid threw a stone at my car. I confronted his mom (who was nearby). She said, "You can't prove it was my son." How should I have reacted?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

And the sadness?

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

More studies show diet and nutrition are important in fighting cancer - WTOP

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

You are like me, then.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

DePaul soccer player Chase Stegall dies in residence hall - Chicago Sun-Times

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

I had run out of hope.

I was tired of trying and failing.

Why does my mother care about my sister more than me?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

The sadness was still there.

Be who you already are.

Can you name an example of bad parenting?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Why are people saying that Trump is fat when he is an athletic 6 foot 3 and 215 pounds?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.